Hello, my name is Nicole. And I am so glad you are here with me today as we continue moving through our eating disorder meditation series. As we begin this practice, I want you to move into a comfortable position.
Start by drawing attention to your breath. Going deeper and deeper breaths. Slowing down your thinking. Let’s inhale and exhale.
Again, inhale 1,2,3, 4 fun. And inhale 1,2,3, 4.
I want you to check in with yourself right now. How have you been feeling today? Think of a word or two that describes your feelings. What struggles Have you been facing?
On a one to 10? How confident do you feel right now. One is not competent at a whole new ten is full confidence. See your number and visualize it. As if it were on a big billboard.
Eating Disorders often manifest from a place of deep internalized shame. It knocks on your door when it knows you’re vulnerable. When it knows you’re likely to answer and let it come inside.
Take a deep breath. I want you to spend a moment here thinking about the people or things that have brought you shame that someone wants to call you a really mean name. reject you. bully you. Have you felt like you failed or didn’t accomplish what you wanted?
Whether someone intended to hurt you or not is irrelevant right now. Your shame is real. You must validate it. How does your eating disorder help you cope with shame?
Do you believe that looking a certain way will make people love you more? Or that eating specific foods will bring you greater happiness? What beliefs do you hold on to?
Those beliefs are your shame scripts. They are irrational at best and life threatening at worst. What if I told you that your eating disorder often lies to you? That a promises great things only to hurt you.
Just like those people or things once hurt you. You don’t deserve that. You never have, never will. I want you to visualize your eating disorder sitting with you at your kitchen table right now. You’ve probably been here before hundreds or even 1000s of times. What messages does your eating disorder tell you at the table?
You shouldn’t eat that. You’re too fat. You have no self control. Need to get a handle on things. Remember the eating disorder is not your identity. You already gave it a name and an appearance. And it’s not yours.
So let’s have some dialogue. What have you wanted to say back? Do you want to curse that? Tell it to leave you alone. Do you want to thank it for being there at a time you felt you’ve had nothing else.
Whatever impulse arises, please honor that one first. I’m going to give you a moment to talk. There are no specific ways you need to feel right now. You’re simply reacting to the primal shame you have endured.
This is a courageous. I’m so proud of you for talking back. Now it is time to walk your eating disorder out of your house. Go ahead and do that right now.
Close the front door. Return back to the table. Take a deep breath.
We’re gonna take in the five senses. Start with sight. What do you see around you? Are there plates of delicious food? Smiling faces. Move to sound when you hear loved ones talking music playing in the background. Now what do you smell? The food cooking candles burning? What do you feel the kitchen chair. Spoon in your hand temperature of the room.
Finally, what you taste let’s make it your favorite food. The one that brings you the most pleasure. Enjoy Just one bite right here. You can it learn to enjoy mealtimes and social events in daily parts of your life is that your eating disorder.
Even if it shows up at the table, nagging at you lecturing you. You can escort it right on its way out. You have the power. It’s in your hands. Future you does this successfully present you is still learning. But the more you practice, the easier it becomes.
Take a deep breath. And remember, progress isn’t always linear. It isn’t always easy to define. But it exists. And it exists in the way you slowly change your thinking and behaviors.
Before we close today’s meditation, I want you to think about your confidence on a scale from one to 10. What is the new number right now? visualize it on a big billboard. Stare at it.
Is this number any different than it was earlier? If so, why do you think that is? And what can you do to keep getting that number higher? What would you need to do today to achieve that? What are you willing to do today to achieve that?
Take this message with you throughout the day. I am leaning into confidence. Again, I am leaning into confidence. One more time. I am leaning in to confidence.
Whenever you’re ready, you may get up and move about your day. Keeping your breath aligned keeping your thoughts focused. I look forward to speaking to you soon.
”What if I told you that your eating disorder often lies to you? That it promises great things only to hurt you.